SJ's other place

he said he would always love me,
he says that he still always will,
he says we should not mail so often,
but mails me everyday.
He tries to let me go, to allow me to fly away,
but accepts me back gladly, when I refuse to fly.
He thinks we need time apart
yet suggests we should meet soon.
he will not make love to me,
yet wants to hold my hand
he wants to kiss me and to hold me,
but can not be the man I need.

and so I must think things over,
how long can this go on?
How long do I give the man I love,
to come back to my bed?
I will wait a little longer,
for I have nowhere i need to go,
Affairs just bring me sorrow,
they are not the way for me.

when the day arrives that I can think of him,
and tears do not start to flow.
then I know I am over him,
then I know it is time to go.

SJ Nov 09

okay people, time for a sex meme, not sure if we have had one on here yet, but we have now, and I stole it from an ace site, where all they do is steal memes http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com

so here goes:

Sunday Stealing: The Stolen Sex Meme

1. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? - Yes

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night? - Yes, all of those

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on? - the right usually, but I can sleep on either.

4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? no

5. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath? Had sex in the shower, and some heavy foreplay in a whirlpool bath once or twice

6. Do you watch/read pornography? rarely, it does not really do it for me.

7. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? hmm, not too passive, is this written for men? But not too agressive either. I prefer passionate.

8. Do you love someone on your blogroll? no up to now.

9. Would you choose love or money? can I choose both? No? oh, okay, love

10. Your top three favorite kinks in bed? Roleplaying games, light bondage and spanking.

11. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually? no, been lucky up to now.

12. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex? In a hotel room which had candles everywhere, and rose petals all over the floor to the bed and to the bath, which was filled with foam and also lit by candles .

13. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? probably in the back of my car with the seats down when I was old enough to know better.

14. Have you ever been caught having sex? Once, but I was with hubby at the time, we were having sex in the guest bed at his sisters house, when her husband walked in with cups of tea.

15. Ever been to a bar just to get sex? no

16. Ever been picked up in a bar? unfortunately not

17. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? no

18. Had sex in a movie theater? no

20. Had sex in a bathroom? yes, bloody cold though with all those tiles

21. Have you ever had sex at work? yes, on a Sunday, when no one else was about, on my meeting table

22. Bought something from an adult store? definately

23. Do you own any sex toys? yes

24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film? erm, yes to the pics

25. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name? no, although I have come close.

26. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse? not really

27. What's your favorite sexual position? me on top

28. What's your favorite sex act? not sure I understand the question!

29. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time? in the same room? no

30. How many bloggers do you think will post this meme this week? maybe 30, though not all from my friends list

probably more than I do

check out this quiz on blogthings.

http://www.blogthings.com/howmuchdoyouknowaboutbloggingquiz/

I got 3/8 right,

according to Abraham Maslow
Sex is a basic Physiological need. We will satisfy the more fundamental physiological needs like water and food and air first, and he admits lack of sex won't kill us, whereas permanent lack of any of the others would.
That said, lack of sex might not kill us, but I think it could be argued our lives are diminished without it.

So if it is a basic need, why do we make such a big deal about where people satisfy that need? If I can eat out to satisfy my need for food and water, then surely I can seek to meet this need elsewhere as well if it is not available at home.

Maybe we mix sex and love up too much, and we speak of betrayal etc. But love, according to Maslow comes after the physiological and safety needs have been met.
So much pain is caused by people feeling betrayed when their loved one satisfies the need for sex elsewhere, but maybe more so if they are satisfying the need for love elsewhere. Love is a higher need, so that makes more sense. But it is still a need, and if someone does not feel they are having that need met they will seek to remedy that.

Maslow referred to the 3 needs above and the 4th need for esteem, as deficit needs:
If you don’t have enough of something -- i.e. you have a deficit -- you feel the need. But if you get all you need, you feel nothing at all! In other words, they cease to be motivating. As the old blues song goes, “you don’t miss your water till your well runs dry!”

I would tend to agree with Maslow.

late edit, after thinking about this post in the shower ( best place for thinking) and the fact that a lot of people get by quite happily with little or no sex, I guess it is like the other needs of food and water. We all have different daily intake requirements. Just like we all have different requirements for sleep, so obviously some people do not have a high need for sex, and some do

I quite like having variety and challenge in my job, and the current job, although I enjoy it, is currently not hitting the spot. Things move fast in our company, and all the time they are taking work away to the shared service centre. They pay lip service to involving us, and then it is a done deal all of a sudden, despite our doubts and questions. I guess that is change, but some companies never seem to learn the lessons of the human element of it.
Anyway, when I am bored or undermotivated I either come on here, or I visit the local Job portal. Sometimes I look for something for hubby, as he seems not to be bothering, and sometimes I look for whether there is something great for me. This week I came across an advert written in English not German, in my local town, and for a International Charity. It is 50 - 70% but in my line of work. I know I could do the job, so I dropped the guy a line to see if it was worth me applying, and he said yes it was. The deadline had passed but they could not find any suitable candidates. I know why, it is cos they want fluent English, and our town is not international enough to have a pool of specialists to pull from.
I think it would be really satisfying to work for this Charity, after a profit based company. But of course they do not have much money ( I checked) and it would be less pay for me as I would not be full time.
But maybe it would give hubby the kick he needs to find a new job, plus of course, if he does find a new job, and does take one in a town where he has to move away to, then I will have more time to be a single parent.
He is still not looking outside our area, but at some point I hope he will start to, cos the flip side of not being in an cosmopolitan city, is the lack of international firms he can apply to.
Sometimes I think things work out how they should, for our benefit, but not always how we hoped or thought. If this job is meant to be, I will get it. But right now I have to find the time to print up a dossier, as they want paper applications and not electronic!

Once upon a time I received a call from some brokers, let me call him Mike from the company Barlow and Ramsey. They wanted to speak to the MD, but I would not put them through. Mike was very persuasive, and I was very naive. Mike talked fast and hard, with a strong British accent, even though he was based in Japan or somewhere similar. He had a great investment to sell, for just 2500 entry. I forget the currency, $ or €'s, I fell for his line. I did not check out his company other than their website. I paid the money. Months passed and the company kept in touch, each time with a great investment, each time with the option to move my current investment, and top up to the entry level. The guys who rang always had the same accents, although the names seemed to change. The previous guy had moved on, now there was a new one.
They all talked hard and fast, barely letting me speak. I think I invested once more, and ended up with 1000 shares in a chinese solar company and a $5000 investment, that then was investigated by the chinese authorities and trading was suspended. Then I got a note from the company Barlow and Ramsey, they were selling out to another company, the investment crisis had got them.
The new company got in touch. The guy from there had a British accent, and talked hard and fast. They don't let you get a word in, for if he had I would have told him to leave me alone. He mailed me his info, I mailed back telling them never to contact me again. Amazingly enough they didn't.
Then recently it started again. Paul from the * group rang me out of the blue, he is a Brit, based in Asia, always calling without disclosing his number. He talks hard and fast, and does not let me get a word in. I don't know how these guys breath. He offered to use my worthless solar shares as part investment in a must have deal within the Life insurance settlement industry. He had valued them at €2600 so i just need to pay in € 2400 to be in with 27% interest a month that would flow to my bank.
The website is impressive, but when I googled them, the only mention of them was their own websites, their own press releases, and a warning from the Finland and Swedish authorities not to trade with them, as they have no licence in those countries.
I questioned Paul as to where he got my details, and why he could not just sell my shares for the € 2600 he said they were worth. He was evasive, and whenever it got tricky his boss would miraculously just be walking by and would spin a line in a smooth american accent.
I emailed Paul, twice, asking him not to call me. But his secretary is off, and he cannot access his emails apparently, so he did not receive them!!!!
Paul has spent a lot of energy and money no doubt calling me for a small investment, when most of the time he is "working for major banks handling their huge portfolios". Seems a lot of effort to me, and my gut is sending me warning bells, to which I am listening.
Today I ran out of patience, and told him firmly not to contact me again. This was shortly after he had paused for breath after a long speech about the great opportunities, and inadvertantly refered to himself as Jason. He made a smart recovery, but Jason, or Paul or Mike, you are all the same, and I am not throwing any more money into investments with companies I do not know.
I was a fool, and in my job should have known better, but I gain comfort from the fact that more experienced people than I have fallen foul of sharks in the industry. Madoff is a case in point.
This story is to warn my fellow bloggers, so none of you fall foul of such persuasive and persistent people.

until about 4pm when I received a right rocketing from one of our country managers. Apparently I have managed to upset one of his main customers, although upset is perhaps a bit mild. The rocketing was over the phone, which was probably good, cos that was fierce enough.
What can I do but apologise? and hope I don't lose my job.
I think the country manager felt he might have gone over the top, as I was nearly in tears at the end, so he probably heard it in my voice.
I had to leave early to wander round the shops to get it out of my system.

But having just read a post by smitty, maybe my day was not so bad after all. There is always someone worse off.

Lucky it is Friday tomorrow, I think I might be screening my calls.

Two sharks are swimming around two people swimming in the sea. The
older and bigger shark tells the other shark to keep making circuits
around the people.
The younger one asks why they are not attacking now.

The older one replies.

Humans taste better when the shit is out

well, my house husband was on strike yesterday it seems. He "didn't feel like cooking" so warmed something up only for himself, and he hadn't felt like emptying the dishwasher either.
He needs to be careful, otherwise he is not worth keeping around at all

He is out tonight though, with his 2 friends, and I am out with a different friend, and then I will go home and enjoy the peace and quiet, plus be able to access the main PC for a change.

bis später

I thought I would take a look at general posts for a change, see if there is anyone new and interesting in blogland. Sadly of the first 3 or 4 pages of posts, 90% were either reviewing cameras, or printers, or dyson cleaners or other such rubbish. This is not what blogland is about.
trouble is there are way too many of them for me to be bothered to report them as inappropriate, but maybe after a while they will get bored and go away.